Without You
by kmart92
Summary: End of 2.13 - The rules dictate the suspension, but surely even that won't split McSwarek. Will she get in the truck? Please read cos it's actually better than this summary!


_**Disclaimer: Maybe in AU I'd own Rookie Blue and Sam Swarek – still, probably not. Life sucks.**_

_**If everyone else gets to write their version of post 2.13 events, here's mine. Just a quick one-shot only of what could've happened at the truck, cos we all know suspension implies no contact. Tiny side-point: Already watched the latest promo 3 times (plus 20 – no joke) and literally flapped around the house for about an hour (it's possible I'm suffering RB withdrawals). Also just read and look at the pictures and spoilers for season 3 and I've gotta say, I'm getting a bad feeling about how it's gonna end. BTW – she's on suspension for 3 months! I'm worried (and praying it's a typo). But anyway, enjoy and please REVIEW!**_

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"Wanna try being normal together?" Sam's voice cut through her butterflies and mild panic that was finally starting to set in at the thought of the suspension. Delayed reactions and all, the weight of responsibility and letting down the McNally name… again… just add her to the list of family screw-ups. But here he was, this sweet, strong, beautiful man who'd already given up so much to be with her, almost given his life, in fact, and now, despite his steady voice, Andy could see the fear and nervousness creeping up on him.

She smiled easily, watching as his intense, passionate gaze lighten at her expression and visibly relax. He had to bite his lip to stop his own smile from spreading. "How are we gonna do that?" Considering everything else that was flying through her mind, this was the only thing that was clear. Andy _loved_ him. 2 nights in and she already knew she'd follow him to the ends of the earth. He was her constant amidst the ridiculous spiral she found herself in, and there was no way she'd let him go.

Sam couldn't help but grin in partial relief and exhilaration that she hadn't been scared off. God knows she's a runner and he always thought that the first sign of complications would make her freak and flee for the hills. But the fact that despite the past 48 hours or so, she was still willing to jump in headfirst with him, had Sam's heart pounding against his chest and his brain scrambling, wanting to confess all sorts of things to her about the 2 years he'd spent pining. Yes, he could admit it, now that the ache in his heart had somewhat lessened, now that he finally had a chance to make her fall even half as much in love with him as he was with her. "Don't know. I have no idea." Actually that was not entirely true. But short of speeding off the nearest city hall and buying a whole stack of newspapers so they could sit at the breakfast table the next morning with a couple of highlighters and property sections scattered everywhere, aside from that, Sam had no immediate plans.

Andy shyly dropped her eyes to the ground, fiddling with a mitten as she sighed, trying to figure out her next choice of words so she wouldn't be forced to see the hurt resurface in his eyes. The last time was still haunting her. "Sam…." Andy's voice was rough and thick with emotion, whether from the thought of what could have happened to him, or the knowledge of the document she'd signed not 10 minutes prior, she couldn't tell. "The suspension," she whispered, blowing out a puff of icy air as she blinked up at him, forcing herself to remain strong.

"Come inside, Andy. You're freezing." He was avoiding the issue, she knew it. Trying to make out like he didn't hear her, that they didn't have this huge burden hanging over them.

Andy shook her head vehemently, taking a small step back. "You know the rules."

"They're not rules. Call 'em guidelines. Suggestions, if you will. They're not black and white."

"They could take away both of our badges. Hell! Even if we stayed away, they _still_ might." Andy folded her arms as a kind of comfort, hating the little quiver on her bottom lip and wished she could dismiss it as just being cold. She looked broken and disillusioned… and tired. Sam wanted nothing more than to wrap her up and sprawl himself over her, smothering her until she stopped fighting.

"Screw it, ok! I don't care about any of that! I _do_ care about you and if it comes down to it, I'll do what's necessary to make sure you don't suffer as a result of my error." He was careful not to use the term 'mistake', but still knew he'd have to answer a lot more questions to appease her before she finally gave in and he could collapse in bed.

Andy braced her arms against the window frame of the passenger door, and leaning in, she barely stopped herself from wincing at the bruising that was already blotching his face. "We're partners, Sam, you can't take the blame for this, and even if you try to, I won't let you. I'm just as much at fault for this as you, if not more so. After all, _I _was the one that came back." Sam opened his mouth to protest, but grimaced as his face screamed out in agony when it stretched. Taking his moment of silence as an opportunity to continue, Andy ran an ungloved hand through her matted hair before pursing her lips. "And how can you say you don't care? Being a cop is all you've ever wanted! You're amazing, Sam, and there's no way I'm gonna let you give that up."

"It's not your choice to make, Andy." Sam almost laughed as she whipped open the door, frustrated and plopped herself in the seat, arms still crossed in mild anger, but at least she was getting closer and closer to defeat without even realising it. "I'm serious, Andy. I'd march back into Best's office right now and hand in my resignation if I had to."

"Sam…" He held up a finger and spoke over the top of her.

"You come first, Andy. There's absolutely nothing I wouldn't give up for you." He saw the tears glisten in her eyes and clenched her jaw shut in the endeavour to keep it together. "You have no idea how important you are to me," Sam lowered his voice to a raspy whisper, trailing his good hand up to cup her chin, looking at her with such tenderness that instantly caused the tears to trickle down her cheeks. "Andy, I…" he nodded at her, silently finishing his sentence, "I… you know."

Andy clasped his hand in hers and placed open-mouthed kisses all over it, pressing it into her cheek as she closed her eyes. "But Sam…"

"Yeah," he breathed out, coming forward to lean his head against hers.

"We have to be reasonable."

"I know." Sam sighed, resigned, knowing she was right and hating every moment of it.

"I don't want to be without you." Andy traced a finger over his face, as if memorising every inch.

"I know, sweetheart. You won't be. I'm always here for you." He wiped her tears away but more just seeped out. "It won't be long and we'll be back together again before we know it." She just nodded, huddling her knees up to her chest as Sam pulled back and started driving. Quiet engulfed the truck until he stopped outside Traci's house, automatically assuming she'd be staying there until her mortgage was finalised. He looked over at her as she glanced out the window, probably for the first time noticing where she was.

Her cheeks were still red and puffy, much like her eyes, and she had to sniff every few seconds to keep from blubbering again. Andy turned to him, reaching for his good hand and splaying her palm over his, fingers mapping each line. "I'll wait for you."

If he hadn't looked up and saw her lips move, he would hardly have heard it. But as it was, Sam's heart clenched at her words, hearing the sentiments of the only thing he'd wanted for so long and hard. "Andy, you don't…"

She shook her head, still not looking at him, eyes focused on their now intertwined fingers, squeezing them a little harder to feel his warmth. "No, I know. But I'm telling you anyway. I'll wait for you."

Sam could barely process her words above the blooding pounding in his ears and the distinct lack of oxygen in his lungs. But the soft tenor of her voice struck at his heart again, leaving him almost paralysed.

"You waited for me for 2 years." Andy sniffed again as the tears started again. "Surely I can survive a little longer. I have to." She gazed up at him, seeing his mouth slightly open, chest heaving and deep brown eyes staring at her with more love and adoration than she'd ever felt. Andy planted a hard kiss on his lips, only lingering for a few seconds to absorb the final sensation of his body around her, and grabbing her bag, disappeared into the night, not looking back.

Sam unconsciously touched a finger to his lips, trying to savour her, letting his head clunk back onto his seat as his whole body exhaled. Pulling away from the curb, Sam looked over for one last time at the house, hoping for a glimpse of her, and murmured to the air, "I love you, McNally."

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_**FIN**_

_**Ta-dah! Another one to strike off my list. I hope it wasn't too… I don't even know what I'm trying to say here, but anyway. Hope you all liked it. I'm gonna resort to begging and say – PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! Ahem… Should have another one up by the end of this week/beginning of next week, so please look out for it.**_

_**Note to self – really bad idea to start reading snippets from season 3 cos it is making me go crazy in a slight panic that all my hopes for McSwarek forever will be squashed. Really hope the writers don't prolong any misery like they do for most other tv shows. **_

_**Anyway, thanks soooo much for reading and don't forget to review!**_


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